I hate UPS
So my wedding dress is currently in lingo somewhere in a UPS truck. Apparently I can't get them to deliver the dress to work (although it's only a ten-minute drive away). And they close at 5:00 and don't open until 9:30 in the morning. And they don't open on Saturdays and Sundays.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today Dianne took me to UPS, because they promised my dress would be there. But no - it was Astoria-bound. Where no one is at home to sign for the damn thing.
Shouldn't be such a whiner though. Christine's car was broken into yesterday, in the company parking lot. Her window was smashed and stereo taken.
Oh - one positive thing. I've discovered Jason is the best salad maker ever. He made us salads last night with leafy lettuce, feta, black olives, baby corn, onions, sauteed mushrooms, pepperoni, parmesan rosemary, red peppers, and a vinegar dressing. It was so good I asked him to make the same thing for lunch today.
So maybe I won't have a dress, but I'll have the best salads.
Printed more invitations.Cleaned the bathroom.Made a pot of chili.Did the laundry.Took out the trash and recyclables. Shopped for groceries, the printer, the USB cord. Planted the grass seeds for Rue's little plastic container of edible grass.There's so little time on the weekend, there's almost no time for fun.
We've finally begun printing the invitations!! I went to Target yesterday and bought a cheap printer, and after a few problems (having to make another trip to Radio Shack for a USB cable, figuring out a semi-accurate formatting), we started printing.
This afternoon Jason and I plan on going to see V for Vendetta at the Kaufman.
God, these entries are becoming really boring.
A long day. I went to Target and got plain wedding invitations, to replace the nicer ones (pressed flowers) that Jason left on the subway. Also got assorted sundries for the pets.
Jason and I went to the fish restaurant off of Ditmars. It was great. Calamari, and yummy potato and garlic dip.
Now Jason's asleep on the couch. And I'm tired too.
It's come to this.I didn't know it ever would, in my life. I always thought I would have no problem deciding.My job makes me miserable. It's not a suitable place for me. It rubs me raw a lot of times. But I like having spending money again. I like being able to buy a cherry-print shirt from Target, or a new necklace, or the second season of Charmed which keeps me sufficiently from writing.
But am I happy? No. That's a lesson I've already learned. Stuff doesn't not equal happiness. And stuff -- especially multimedia type stuff -- keeps me from writing.
But I'm still having trouble deciding. Money or happiness. Money or writing?
It would be alright to quit, go back to temping. Jason has a solid chunk of temp work right now, he's working seven days a week, he can support us for a while. Even with the expenses from the wedding.
I just need to tell myself I can live without more H&M shirts and earrings and books. I like the library. I have at least fifty books at home that need to be read. I'm really okay in the book department.
I might actually need another pair of pants. Should I quit after buying the pants?
Will I ever? Or will I continue to make myself miserable?
Maybe that's the real question. Do I think I deserve happiness, or to be miserable?
The food-tasting was nice. It was a buffet setting in a ballroom, with 75% of the menu available for sampling. I didn't like the cake (too dry), or the suspicious cream sauce on the salmon, but everything else was good. Especially the calamari -- and everyone knows that's all I care about.
It was also great to hang out with Nina.
The best thing about the food-sampling was that no one was sitting at our table, pestering us about putting down a deposit. I mean, we are going to put down a deposit - Astoria World Manor is the best we've seen so far - but it was really nice to have a free, hassle-free dinner, and not even be obligated to go watch/listen to/witness the horrible DJ in the ballroom next door.
Am currently reading Anne Lamott's Bird By Bird, which is doing great things for my writing self-esteem. I especially like her advice about keeping a 1" x 1" picture frame by your writing desk -- a reminder that you only have to write your novel one paragraph at a time, rather than overwhelming yourself with the whole wild scope of it (something I do all the time - why I have a wasteland of so many unfinished novels).
My current project is something fun -- a kind of homage to Buffy, because I miss that TV show. It's got teenagers and angst and superpowers. Oh, and weird premises. It makes me happy.
Tonight should be fun. It's the free dinner/food tasting at Astoria World Manor. Hope Jason isn't feeling too badly ... I'm starting to recover from my cold, but I think I passed it on to him.
That's it. Five more minutes of work.
I'm sick again. Again. Runny nose, fever, sore throat, congestion. My immune system must be so low right now, for me to get sick twice in the past couple of weeks.
Wedding dress shopping yesterday was horrid. Bloomingdale's and Saks Fifth Avenue were intimidating, and Jason was less than enthusiastic about having to tag along. It was too cold for words outside, and the department stores were too warm.
Dinner, at least, was nice. We ate at Heartland Brewery. I had the chicken marsala and a black cherry soda, and Jason had a veggie burger platter and an oatmeal stout. Afterwards we met Jonathan at Barnes and Noble, where we drank overpriced Starbucks coffee and said strange things about mustaches.
I'm too sick to go out today, so Jason's responsible for the grocery shopping. Hope he'll come home with everything I wrote down on the list ...
Not much to say today. Wedding plans are on the fritz, due to Jason's mother. Popeye's Chicken for dinner, and idiotic tasks all day long at work.
We are listening to some really sad Dolly Parton songs. I didn't know Dolly Parton had sad songs, but apparently - she does.
I like the messenger bag I bought from Target. It's a step up from the blue vinyl-y camera case I was carrying around.
